This is something that I posted to my support group this morning, and just wanted to add to my blog so that it is easier to find when I am feeling low and like I am alone in the world.
I have been reflecting a bit this morning, and I have come to the conclusion
that God is watching out for me. There are SO many groups/ support group sites
that address bipolar. But I was referred to this one. This Christian one where
not only is it allowed, but encouraged to use the Lord in our messages to one
another. To remind each other that God is watching out for us, and that He has a
much bigger plan for us than we may ever see. One thing that is becoming
increasingly more difficult for me is seeing outside of my own world, and
getting attuned to "The Big Picture"
Often times I am selfish and self-centered and get extremely irritable and angry
if things do not go MY way. I am controlling and irrational and at times I act
as if the world revolves around me, especially with my husband. Sometimes (OK,
a lot of the time) he gets very frustrated with my selfish behaviors, but I KNOW
that he loves me unconditionally, even when we are mad at each other. He has
stood by my side and been my anchor in this storm of the emotional roller
coaster that is my life. He has gotten used to me demanding his attention, and
me getting upset if he doesn't drop everything he is doing and come running to
my beck and call. He comforts and forgives me when I realize that I am being
unfair to him, and that it's not him that is the problem, but my expectations
that are so high for so many people in my life.
My old tdoc told me that I set my expectations too high, and that with high
expectations people are going to fall short and I am going to be disappointed,
which gives me an excuse to not realize my short-comings.
Anyway, the point of this is THANK YOU ALL for being supportive and loving and
kind and generous and lifting me up. You have all exceeded my expectations so
far, and for that I am truly grateful!
Jessica
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