Christmas

Am I the only person who is awake at 1am on Christmas simply because they don't want to go to sleep and acknowledge that another year has come and almost gone? I feel so much differently now than I did a year ago. I found something interesting today. I have borderline personality disorder and this article helped me explain it to my husband who has never been able to understand. So if any of you that are reading this don't understand me then maybe this will make a little more sense: you may have to copy and paste but please read it....and leave me comments!!! http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/news/20070521/darth-vaders-psyche-what-went-wrong

it is what it is, take it at face value

December 23, 2007

I have to attempt to put these words down on paper so maybe they’ll leave my head alone. I’m terrified. Terrified I’m going to do something incredibly stupid because my brain refuses to function like it should. This has been an emotionally distressing year. Funny thing is nothing externally much has been going on to make me FEEL like I do. I feel like I hate my life and I want to start over and like all the major decision I’ve made should be undone. I want to be able to say it’s over if I feel like it and not destroy someone’s life in the process. And by that person I mean my child. My precious, sweet, demonic child.