Happy Anniversary

So yesterday David and I celebrated being together for SIX years. I was thinking on it, we didn't really do anything spectacular last year for five years and I realized it's because at six years we hit the 5 year mark and kept going. Yesterday was 5 years since we got engaged, five years since we fully commited to each other. In another week or so we will pass the 5 year point where Angelina came to be. I'm happy, but I'm also kind of melancholy...like..."this is it?" I'm 23...and this is it. I'm not unhappy per se... in the past month or so have been probably at one of the happiest points in my life...but it didn't revolve around my family or my husband. It revolved around ME. and then i got sad because I decided I want to go to college. I want to DO something with my life besides work a mediocre job that I hate that barely pays the bills and spend most evenings either watching TV or surfing the internet and being annoyed at my husband and my daughter. My daughter for paying too much attention to me and my husband for not paying ENOUGH attention to me. And it just makes me think. I could be doing anything I wanted to, I could go to school and live in a dorm and just worry about getting good grades and not about whether me furthering my education was going to make us lose our house. I can get money to go to school. I can't get money to not work to be able to go to school and still pay the bills. And i'd really like to be able to finish my degree and get a job before Angelina graduates. I don't want a 6 year degree to take me 12 years to complete. I also don't want to miss out on my daughter growing up. So everyone please pray that something presents itself to make it all possible.

Hello blog world

So, I'm kinda depressed/melancholy. I HATE paying bills. No, actually that's not entirely true...I just hate paying bills when it means there's no money left over, or sometimes not enough. right now is one of those not enough times. I hate having to shuffle due dates just to make ends meet. I work for a living. So does my husband. we are both productive citizens. So why is it so hard? I mean... Thanksgiving in next week, and I have PLENTY to be thankful for, but right now I feel like... why am I thankful for working my ass off everyday to have little to show for it. And Christmas. It's commercial, we know this...but ... my daughter, she's 4, I asked her what she wanted for Christmas...the only things she wants are a Dora the Explorer bicycle, and a red Ford Mustang convertible (the power wheels version, that is) We have been flirting with the idea of this mustang for over a year now. She rode in one once and now everytime we go to the store she wants to look at it. It's always "Maybe you'll get that for Christmas, or maybe for you birthday, or maybe when we get the income tax return", but ... when it comes time for those things we never seem to have that $300 for the red plastic mustang that apparently is my 4 year old's heart's desire. I want to go to school. I want to not work, or only work part-time, and go to school. Can't even make ends meet working full time how do I expect to go to school? The last thing I need is more debt. I'm up to my ears in it, it's working on suffocating me. Some days it's unbearable (like today) and I just want to run away and hide. So, if you're reading this, and you have like... oh, I dunno 10,000 dollars to spare send it my way... it could come in handy. kthnxbye.