Honesty is freeing

I had a REAL conversation with David today. SO many things apparently have been on both our minds and I am so glad that we got it out there. It doesn't change anything except we both understand each other's POV and realize that the other understands. And we're different, we both have considered some of the same things, but refuse to give into the madness of them for different reasons. I know i'm being cryptic, it's purposeful. I just wanted to say that I feel liberated in my marriage and although I feel stifled quite often, it makes me feel a bit better to know that he knows that I changed for him, to be better for him, and for myself. I met someone. My world has been turned upside down. But here I sit. I'm not changing a thing. I will keep the monster under lock and key. If you want to know what I mean... read Twilight. I feel like Edward with Bella... I am a vampire and David is human. I love him, but mostly I just want to tear him to pieces and drink his blood. So...I can't let myself lose control in any way, or my primal instincts will take over and I will tear him apart. Of course, it's all figurative. but a year ago, I let my control slip, and I turned his world upside down, he was ready to end his own life rather than go on without me by his side. I can't let that happen.