This is more of a question entry more than prophetic wisdom (haha).
For whatever reason when I was in the hospital my psychiatrist and I had some how ended up on the topic of the fact that after my mom left and it was just me and my dad that we used to take baths together. Now, I never thought anything of it. There wasn't anything sexual about it, it never made me uncomfortable that I remember. It was just easier.
Anyways my pdoc thought this was strange and inappropriate. Now, she asked me how my husband and I were around my 5 year old daughter and I explained to her that David is very careful to not be naked around her. I try to be, but she is a mommy's girl and she follows me everywhere. We only have 1 bathroom and she still has a lot of "accidents" so locking her out of the bathroom usually ends up in wet pants and a lot of grief. So, I do shut the bathroom door when I shower, but she always comes in while I'm in the shower at least 3 times, and each time I tell her she needs to go out. So she has uncanny timing and as soon as she hears the shower turn off she comes busting through the bathroom door, usually as I am drying off from my shower. So, I am trying to be modest and she refuses to respect my privacy. It usually then goes to me kicking her out of the bathroom and shutting the door, or me hurrying into the bedroom and closing the door to get dressed. So, then she comes storming through my bedroom door even though I tell her "Out! Mommy is naked and getting dressed. I will come out when I am done." She still comes and either knocks on the door and talks to me through it, and if I respond she opens the door and comes on in again. Usually at this point I am still nude, and she gets kicked out again.
So today, I took a shower. She comes in twice while I'm in the shower. Not such a big deal we have a solid shower curtain so it's not like she can see me. So I tell her she needs to go out when she is done. So, I am done showering, turn off the water...and the door opens. It's Angelina "Mommy can I have a brownie?" and of course I'm like yes, angelina get OUT, I'm naked! So she goes out, I dry off, and put on some underwear, and attempt to open the door and sneak into my room before she comes back, but alas she is standing outside the door with 2 brownies in hand telling me she got one for me. I'm like "Angelina, I AM NAKED! Please go in the other room. I will come out there when I am done." She says to me: "Mommy, you're not naked you have panties on." I tell her that yes I am naked, I don't have clothes on and proceed into the bedroom and shut the door. So, I'm searching for my bra, when I remember that I put it in the wash. So I go back into the bathroom. She heard me come out of the room and comes trotting into the bathroom running her mouth. I'm like "Ang, I'm still naked. Go in the other room!" So I go back in the room and shut the door. Next thing I know...before I could even get any clothes on, the door starts opening and all I see is her little face peaking through the crack. So, she sees that I see her. Instead of shutting the door and leaving me to dress she takes this as a cue to open the door and come in, even though I am still just as naked as I was when I left the bathroom and told her to go in the other room. So I send her out and get dressed. Then when I come out fully clothed she is in the kitchen doing something else.
WHY???? And why is this bad? I mean I get it, I'm an adult and she's a child. But I am trying to be modest and she WON'T let me. My psychiatrist tells me that it's innappropriate. But what is that really? My daughter is not affected by seeing me nude, or just in undergarments, as she doesn't seem to understand what privacy is. So is it really abusive or traumatic? I really don't know what else to do. I don't really care either way, but I know that this is seen as "wrong" by society or professionals or the Dept. of Children and Families. I don't know what to do. She gets more stressed out by being locked out of the bathroom and peeing her pants because the door is locked than it is for her to briefly see me naked.
Now, it is different with my husband because he is less often home alone with her. He usually showers in the morning before work before she is even awake, and then on the weekends I am home and she is happy to leave him alone to shower, unless I go in to go to the bathroom...then she MUST be there, because I am. That's another thing, she almost always follows me to the bathroom. I will tell her to go away and so she stands out in the kitchen just outside the hall and bathroom door and peers at me through the crack in the door that she leaves open when I kick her out. Anyway, she has seen my husband not dressed maybe twice since she has learned that boys and girls are different. And she will run the other direction the very few times that this has happened (again, I think the times this has happened is she has gone into the bathroom to pee just as he is getting out of the shower and forgot to lock the door.
So, what am I supposed to do? Has anyone else had this problem? What did you do? And do you think that it is "wrong"?
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