Uncertainty

Purgatory. That's where I am. Limbo. Wishing you would say something instead of just avoiding me, hoping that you keep silent So I can pretend you died. Only...you didn't. And I don't think it would make a difference anyway because I am in love with an idea..not a person, not really. You have become the embodiment of an idea. I wish you would be my friend, like you said you wanted. And made it sound like you would feel like you could die if I wasn't your friend. Like you would go as crazy as I am going. but you seem to be doing fine. or at least like you don't need me. I still need you to need me. Just...talk to me. Let's start over, Hi, I'm Jessica, and you are? Pretend like when I very drunkenly told you I loved you, you said "I don't" Pretend like none of it ever happened. And, also I have this weird idealization of Love. Like I still love every person I said that I have loved, even if they hurt me. And everyone has a soundtrack.. that is how i remember my loves. music. I only miss you when I listen to your soundtrack. I'll make you a copy so you can miss me.