Polar Opposites

Recently a friend of a friend's son died in a car accident.  He was half of a set of 2 or 3 year old twins.  I do not know the kids or the mother, other than for her to have been spoken of by my friend.

I am not quite sure what train of thought brought me to it... but I was thinking... I don't understand how she could already go back to school, and out with friends (even if it was to drink away her sorrows).  She has another child to care for and maybe that plays a role in not being completely non-functional.

I said to David, "I don't understand it.  I don't understand how someone could just pick themselves up that quickly after something like that.  I would be an absolute mess."  I mean this in no way to be judgmental of this person because everyone grieves in their own way... and she has other responsibilities.  But it is hard for me to wrap my head around because I couldn't do it.


David and I started discussing that if something happened to me that he would have to go back to work and Angelina would have to go back to school because they wouldn't have a choice.  "Life" responsibilities would continue for them even if I were gone.  David asked me what I would do if he died.  And I told him that I would die too.  And then I started crying just thinking about it. 

This got me to thinking about different personality types.  About the different ways that people cope, or function.  A lot of the more "logical" type personalities don't put a lot of stock into mental illness/ mental disorders/ going to a therapist, etc.  But as far as I know personality typology is something that is fairly widely accepted, and I know that many companies even offer/require their employees/supervisors MBTI evaluation to see how best they work, and whom they work best with.

I went browsing through images online trying to find a perfect illustration of the different personality types... instead I found a few different ones.. some that have everything shown, but don't explain it..and others that explain, but don't have all the information.







The first that I came across explained the 8 inner characteristics of the MBTI traits along with the introverted/extroverted dominant.

The second showed different personality traits of different "types" of personalities not necessarily related to the more formal MBTI.  I found this chart to be particularly interesting it doesn't really specify a definite outcome.  While I found it to be fairly accurate for myself, none of the relational types fit every single definition of my personality.

The third photo I just thought was funny.  It really was kind of the answer to the statement I had made "I just don't get it."   The title of this book really brings to light the true answer.  While it is relatively easy to understand our way of thinking/reacting to certain things, doesn't mean that everyone thinks/feels that way.

The fourth photo was a breakdown of the four temperament types.  This is one that I was happy to find.  I have taken quizzes before about temperament and always gotten the "Choleric" result, but I never really understood what it was compared to other temperaments.  Now I know.  And, yes, I would say that I have a choleric temperament.


The fifth image is that of a "compass" of the MBTI types.  This image is full of adjectives to describe the different aspects of each type.

The sixth, and last,  image was that of Da Vinci's "Man" as an enneagram, which is another personality type indicator based on 9 personality types.  These types are represented as numbers 1-9 and refer to the 9 different characteristic roles related to each type. 



What I find most interesting about all of the different type of personality inventories out there is this:  They are all different, they refer to different "temperaments" or "roles" or "types" but when you bring it down to basics and look at the character they are describing..they most often are the same.    Some, such as the MBTI, divide the different personality types up into 16 distinct types, while the enneagram is only 9, and the four temperaments are 4.  Each give at least a general idea of one's personality.

David and I are always on the opposite ends of the spectrum.  He is an ISTJ to my ENFP.  He is a phlegmatic temperament while I am choleric.  He relies on logic (thinking) and the concrete (sensing) while I rely on what ISN'T there, what isn't being said when relating to others (intuition) and of course, my feelings.    Where David is the right foot, I am the left hand.

We have known this from the start, yet we often manage to make it work.  He is the rock to my ocean.  He keeps me afloat when I would drown.  We don't often "get" each other, but over the years we have mostly learned to work around our differences when they get in the way.  He makes me think, I make him feel. 

I have met others like me.  With the same personality types...  I have learned that while they are wonderful friends (when we're in a like mind) and can see and understand a good deal of my inner workings, it would be impossible to rely on them, or have them rely on me.  When you are sad, I am sad... but then you are sad because I am sad... and it never ends.  When you cry, I cry... and we will never stop and create an ocean of tears.  When you can't function, and I can't function... there is no one there to pick us up, we just continue to drag one another down. When you are reckless, I am reckless.  When you act on a whim, I act on a whim...  and there is no logic or reasoning.. no one to tell us to think of the consequences, as there will surely be some. 

David told me tonight that I am not a strong person and that was why I wouldn't be able to put duty in front of emotion if he died.  And it made me think of the Sunday School song.  "The wise man built his house upon the rock the rains came tumbling down and the house on the rock stood firm. But the foolish man built his house upon the sand, the rains came tumbling down and the house on the sand went splat."   And while that song was written to emphasize the importance of building your life on Jesus Christ (The rock)  I feel not like the foolish man, but like the sand.   I can handle the weight of the world when it is sunny, but I crumble at the sign of rain.  I used to be stronger.  I guess I have just gotten to a point where I can only carry so much.  And it is much, much less than it used to be.

I'm rambling. it's 2 am. I'm going to sleep