Bury Me In Memory

can't seem to get my thoughts together too well these days. My mind is going in so many random directions I can't totally seem to keep up. Had an eventful weekend. A good one. A bad one. cried. did some soul searching. laughed. obsessed. planned. felt a new emotion. experienced an old emotion that shouldn't be there. cried. laughed. looked someone in the eye. was shy. was loud. was awkward but felt strangely fulfilled. baked. ate ice cream. vegged. slept. stayed up all night. shopped. met a beautiful woman. fell in love. got my heart broken. got butterflies. scared someone. comforted someone. gave advice. took advice. wished. admired a full moon. dreamed. came to the realization (again) that nothing is truly as permanent as it seems. discovered the expected can come at unexpected times. evaded. told the truth. told a lie. fooled myself. I will continue to do so. can't give up, and can't give in. to do so would destroy everything. feel like spontaneously combusting just so it's not building inside me anymore. feel like i'm suffocating. waiting for the pills to steady my system. waiting. waiting...