Am I Really Real?

I feel like I don't exist. not in the "i'm so ignored" kind of way. it's more like I get up. I get Ang ready for school. I go to work. I pick Angelina up. I go home. I make dinner (sometimes). I play on the computer. I go to bed. wash, rinse, repeat. Where is my life? Is this really what it's like to be an adult? Ok, kids. DON'T GROW UP! seriously. it's not about doing whatever you want to (or don't want to.) It's like I have to live somewhere and i have to eat so I have to get money to do these things. To get money, most of us have to work. then you get money from working and you don't feel like doing ANYTHING. except maybe have a shower which requires water that you have to pay for, and of course have lights that you also have to pay for. I'm broke. not like, i'm so behind on everything and they're shutting off my power or anything. it's just the depressing kind of broke where you work work work work work and you pay for the lights to be on and the water to come out of the faucet, but that's about it. so what's the point? I could quit my job and be on welfare and have lights and water and some kind of a roof over my head. What makes some people feel like they're more entitled to that? not working so you can collect a check for doing nothing all day?

I can't stand not having some money. it makes me feel like, "why am i spending 8 hours a day at work, if i'm not going to have any more to show for it than the person who goes down to the welfare office the 3rd of the month to collect their food stamps?" at least they're probably home raising their kids instead of sending them to daycare for someone else to raise. which isn't entirely true either. they have welfare for daycare too. Although it's mostly reserved for single parents. I don't understand that... poor is poor. Doesn't matter if there's one or two parents in the house. I'm rambling again. but luckily, i'm not poor. just dont have any money to do anything fun. pity me. kthnxbye.